The Query Letter that Got me a Literary Agent
When I shared my “How I Got a Literary Agent for my Debut Novel” blog post a lot of folks asked me to share the query letter. For those who don’t know, to get representation from a literary agent you have to send out a pitch for your book and sample material for the agent to read.
I did several drafts of my letter before I sent it out. I don’t have all of them, but I do have the final version and I have the framework I use when I’m building a pitch. I used this essay from author Victoria Lee as a starting point when I was figuring out how to write my query.
General Query Letter Information
Your query should be about one page double-spaced. If you want examples before you get started, look at the blurb on the inside flap of a book or the blurb on Goodreads. Have friends read your query, especially people who haven’t read your manuscript. They won’t go into the letter with any assumptions based on the book.
If you dread writing query letters I have bad news for you: once you get an agent or book deal you still have to write them. They’ve become an invaluable tool for me. I write one every time I start a new project because they help me nail down the characters and stakes for the story.
Some general tips:
Don’t name too many characters. You can refer to someone by a characteristic instead, such as seamstress, governor, pilot, farmer, etc.
Specify your genre. If you don’t know what your genre is, it can be hard to write the query letter to begin with, because different genres have different query expectations. For example, many romance queries will have one paragraph from character A’s perspective, and another paragraph from character B. Outside of romance books that’s a less common structure.
If your book is part of a series and cannot stand alone, you’re better off being clear about that from the beginning.
Don’t say anything disparaging about the agent or other books in your query. Seriously. That will give a very bad impression.
You can use this basic framework to write a twitter pitch, and if you expand it enough you can turn this 2-3 sentence pitch into a query.
Short Pitch Framework
[Main character] is/has [status quo], but when [inciting incident] happens they must [attempt flawed solution] or else [consequence/stakes]. But when [flawed solution] goes wrong, the main character must make a choice.
Status Quo: the first 50-ish pages of your story when we’re introduced to the character’s daily life.
Inciting Incident: I don’t mean the event at the end of your first chapter. That’s a hook. The inciting incident is usually around 10%, so 50 pages in for an adult novel. In YA your inciting incident may come earlier because the book is shorter.
Attempt flawed solution: the beginning of act 2 if you’re using a 3 act structure.
Consequences: the stakes for your character if they fail.
Choice: usually this is the midpoint. Some people use a choice at the end of the story and that can work too.
My Successful Query
Dear Agent,
I read that you’re looking for work from marginalized authors. This is an own voices story from my perspective as a blind LGBT woman. I hope you will consider REDSIGHT, a stand-alone adult science-fantasy novel complete at 129,000 words. EDITOR NAME of IMPRINT has previously expressed interest in this project.
Korinna was created for one purpose: to power an interstellar warship with Redsight, the tactile energy of space and time. For many years she trained in a religious order of blind witches to become a navigator for the Galactic Imperium. Unlike the rest of her cohort, Korinna wonders if there’s more to life than fueling engines of war until she expires under the strain.
When she meets Esther, an alluring space pirate with a dark secret, the ascetic tenets of her training begin to unravel. Korinna dreams of being more than a living weapon, of experiencing the galaxy outside of her duties, of contact with another person. But her sacrilegious fascination with Esther comes at a price.
After Esther murders the governor of Korinna’s warship, Korinna is forced to choose between a life of military servitude or a future with the most wanted rebel in the galaxy. The Galactic Imperium names Korinna a heretic, and unless she can solve the mystery around Redsight’s origins she’ll never have the strength to protect herself. Pursued across rebel territory for Esther’s crimes, Korinna and Esther must learn to defy the laws of space and time or face annihilation by the Imperium.
This work features space gods and religious mysteries that will appeal to fans of GIDEON THE NINTH. It has a similar tone to SISTERS OF THE VAST BLACK and includes an enemies to lovers LGBT romance like Eve and Villanelle from KILLING EVE.
I’m an employment discrimination attorney and the owner of my own firm. I’m a blind guide dog user and I live in North Carolina.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[LEGAL NAME] writing as Meredith Mooring
Breaking Down the Blurb
So let’s apply the framework to this.
Status quo: the first paragraph introducing Korinna as a character.
Inciting incident: Meeting Esther. Her fascination with Esther disrupts her life/commitments.
Attempted flawed solution: her role on the warship serving the Imperium.
Consequences: Esther isn’t the person Korinna thinks she is. She can’t protect herself from Esther or the Imperium.
Choice: Korinna must choose between Esther and the Imperium.
Metadata Paragraph
I try to include agent personalization at the beginning, along with the title, genre, and wordcount. If you’re writing a book from your perspective as a diverse author you can mention it here if you’re comfortable doing so, but it’s not required.
If you have editor interest I’d put it in this spot. If you get an agent like in DVpit or another pitch contest you can mention it here.
Comp Titles
Do not skip this paragraph!!! In my opinion, comp titles can really help get an agent’s attention. For every comp title I used I explained why it was similar to my book, which is very important if you’re using really different kinds of books. Here, Gideon the Ninth and Killing Eve are extremely different, so it’s better to explain why I’m using them.
A lot of writers wonder if you can use a movie/TV show as a comp title and yes, you definitely can. But I’d suggest pairing it with a book too. Having at least one recent book or recently published author to compare your work to is important, because it shows you’re aware of the current market.
If you think your work is similar to another author but you can’t narrow it down to one book, it’s ok to say “this will appeal to fans of [AUTHOR NAME].”
Author Bio
Not everyone includes one of these, but I think it’s a good idea to write a sentence or two about yourself. If you’ve published any articles or short stories this is the best place to include it. I’ve published some legal articles but I didn’t include that in my query because it didn’t seem relevant to fiction writing.
The Success Story
This is the same letter I sent my now agent. We used this query as the starting place for the pitch we sent on submission. Yes, agents send their own version of a query to editors too. We expanded mine somewhat but the core structure is basically the same.
And if you read my announcement in Publisher’s Marketplace, you’ll notice it’s similar to my query as well.
If you have questions about this blog post, please let me know! If you think my book sounds interesting you can add REDSIGHT on Goodreads!
You can find me on twitter, instagram, and tiktok as @meredithmwrites.